I don’t watch many commercials but when State Farm aired this one, it grabbed my attention. WHY? Because they were showing a stepfamily getting married. Today’s family.

And what I liked even more was they kept it real. No pretending that everyone was excited about this union. I enjoyed the kids’ expressions, showing that although mom and dad are extremely happy, the kids are not sure.

This also shows us that children have different views when it comes to merging families. Adults usually move on with their lives at a faster pace than children do and it’s normal.

If this is your second marriage (as is most probably the case in this video), you had time to either detach yourself from your now ex-spouse or grieve the lost of a departed one. You’ve moved on with your life.

Children may not have had that time or guidance to move through the process like you.

Here are some tips to help you enjoy your special day with your children:

  • Don’t take it personally if your kids are not on the same page as you are. Let them know that you still love them no matter what.
  • Take some time BEFORE the big day for some one-on-one with your kids. With all the preparation for the big day, your kids might be feeling a bit left out.
  • Include them in the ceremony in some meaningful way. They could walk you down the aisle, say a few words about what coming together means to them (if you are willing to give them that space *smile*) or take part in the organizing the big day.
  • Give them a token or a gift that will reminder them of this special day. It could be a piece of jewelry, a memory book, a plaque. Whatever you decide, think about the message you want to give about this special day.

And like the commercial says, “turning two worlds into one takes love” and I would add patience, commitment, humor, and a vision.

Did you enjoy this post? Why not sharing it with your family, friends, even your co-workers. You never know who just might be in need of a bit of hope, inspiration, and motivation.


Claudette Chenevert, The Stepmom Coach



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