It’s Mother’s day and you’re feeling miserable. You’re not looking forward to this day because you’re just afraid of being hurt, ignored, cast aside.

Why is it so hard for stepmoms on this day?

Well, as with many moms, we just want to be recognized for the work and effort we put into being a stepmom. Let’s face it. It’s not easy being a mom figure to kids you may not want us to be their mom. It’s definitely tough when you’re fighting against a momma bear who feels the urge to keep her cubs close to her, even if there is no reason for it.

Here is a short video where I share my story about my first Mother’s Day, my reaction and what we’ve done differently since.

Do you have a Mother’s Day story you’d like to share?


  1. Candess M. Campbell

    Claudette, thank you for sharing your story. It brings so much awareness to a topic I have not thought of much. I can see how painful it must have been. When I think of Mothers’ Day, I think of celebrating all moms, even my own children who are moms.

    It’s great to communicate your needs directly with those you will be with. I texted my daughters gift ideas for myself that are within their budget and easy to find. After all, they are busy. They are moms!

    • StepmomCoach

      Thanks Candess. I think that if you’re the type of person who feels insecure in your role as a stepmom, then being a stepparent is more challenging. That’s where growing a thick skin, letting the negative comments roll off your back and sometimes walk away for the people who can’t appreciate who you are and what you do is the best solution.

      As moms and women, we’re all busy, I agree. I also believe that when it comes to “time” we make the decision as to how busy we want to be. We have to be careful not to fall into the trap of busyness.

      I also agree that if we want something, it’s best to voice our needs and wants. I sometimes fall in that trap of thinking “well, you’d think they would know it’s Mother’s Day, right?” Always learning, always evolving.

  2. Jackie Harder

    My sister is a stepmom and she loves those kids — now adults — as her own flesh and blood. Her steps weren’t any more ornery than her own flesh-and-blood kids and came with their own challenges…as individual people. There is a special place in heaven for stepparents.

    • StepmomCoach

      I’m so glad that your sister’s experience was positive. Unfortunately, so many stepmoms feel alone, frustrated, resentful, disrespect, and so on when it comes to their stepkids and other people.
      I’m glad to know there is a special place in heaven for stepparents. They definitely deserve it.

  3. Tandy Elisal

    What a great perspective, Claudette. I’m so glad you are raising awareness to this important topic. Stepmoms ARE Mothers and should be treated as such!

    There is definitely a special place in heaven for step-moms.

  4. Tamuria

    One of my sons went through a similar experience Claudette – with Father’s Day. He had devoted a lot of time to caring for the kids in question, more than their biological dad. When it came to Fathers Day he was totally ignored and it really hurt him. It is heartbreaking when we feel invisible.
    I used the ‘nothing’s wrong’ line with Hubby for so many years. That sure is confusing. Glad we have clear communication worked out now.

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