Calming The Storms of Stepfamily ConflictDealing With Conflict Before It Gets Out Of Hand
Ever Wonder How Some Stepparents Successfully:
- Get along with those they’re with?
- Keep their family working like a team?
- Negotiate the chores and house rules without breaking into a major war?
- Stay calm and peaceful even when chaos is all around them?
Truth is, there’s some simple and easy tools that you can use too. As a stepparent, knowing and using these time tested tips will make all the difference in your stepfamily. Do you think your life might be any better if you shared these amazing secrets with members of your family?
How many times have you tried to present your point of view with your spouse, the stepkids or someone else only to get met with an aggressive backlash from someone who disagrees?
Have you ever experienced the general nature of the conversation becoming more emotionally charged as you seek a chance to defend your position?
Has it ever felt as if the people you are discussing the problem with simply aren't really hearing you or truly don't care about finding a fair and equitable solution?
Here's the perfect opportunity to find the answer to all these questions as well as several more you haven't yet even thought of asking.
Announcing my 6 part series on ‘Calming the Storms of Stepfamily Conflict!’
Conflict arises when the people involved simply aren't trained to:
- Understand the causes of relational confrontations.
- Perceive the signals of a conflict about to arise.
- Apply the simple, step by step procedures that quickly and efficiently rectify the situation.
After reading just the first lesson, you'll soon discover that you have the ability to quickly prepare for a “head on” negotiations session or conflict resolution meeting with a new sense of complete confidence.
After reading all 6 you’ll have a valuable tool-kit at your disposal that’ll allow you to seamlessly work your way from an emotionally charged situation to a mutually beneficial one.
In these 6 steps, you’ll learn:
- How to achieve a greater sense of over-all peace, satisfaction, confidence and self integrity.
- Skills for getting along significantly better with your family and friends.
- Tips to deepening your level of “connection” others.
- How to create a clear, calm and centered awareness, free of chaos, conflict & confusion.
Once you learn the techniques and the knowledge of “Calming the Storms of Stepfamily Conflict” you will have a clear understanding of how to walk your path through life in a state of calm, peaceful balance. What could “THAT” do to improve your relationships and life in general? A lot, believe me.
The dream begins…
On Jan 31, 1990, I met a wonderful man with whom to share my journey through life. The one thing I had not spent time considering was the impact his 2 young daughters, aged 6 and 7, would have on our relationship. I felt they would be great sisters to my son, also 6 years old. I grew up adoring Julie Andrews in the Sound of Music and watching the Brady Bunch. It all seemed very simple. You get married, bring all the kids together and start singing Do Re Mi!!
But something wasn’t right. Nothing was going according to the melody and everything was off key. What was I doing wrong?
And then, we were at war…
I had no control over my life or home. My husband and I became adversaries divided along the biological fault lines. There were no boundaries – I felt as if his kids and his family were more important than me. I lost my self-esteem, became frustrated and depressed. I hit rock bottom. My husband tried to help but I saw him as the problem not the solution.
I had become consumed with family battles and forgotten my own dreams and goals. When asked by a therapist what I’d do if I wasn’t worried about the family, I realized I wanted to go back to school.
Gaining greater insight to help myself and you…
Setting aside my fear of failure and with support from my husband, I finally pursued my college education.
My entire perspective on my family life and my career changed completely. I gained a sense of independence and value. I discovered within me the desire to coach other families through their struggles as stepfamilies catapulting me into a positive role model for my own family.
Armed with my degree I joined professional coaching and stepfamily organizations and became a certified coach. My degree gave me insight into stepfamily dynamics and how I contributed to sabotaging our relationships. My coaching certification refined my listening skills allowing me to empathize with my family, even my ex-husband (or his ex-wife or both?). My experiences with other members in the stepfamily organizations opened my eyes to what other stepfamilies needed.
Bringing support, wisdom, and order to your life…
From my own experience and my training, I developed the Amazing Stepfamily Makeover Challenge. I see so many stepmoms struggling with the same issues I did: trying to find their identity, no self-esteem, frustrated and seemingly forgotten. Evil stepmother is not the only option out there. This program will help you understand the matrix of emotions going on behind the scenes in a stepfamily, analyze your own role and contributions, and create a new vision for your family.
It won’t be easy. Individuals and families are changing all the time as we age and go through different kinds of life experiences. There are many ways to navigate this process and there are no guarantees of loving Hallmark type endings. But if you, like me, want to be the very best woman/mother/role model that you can be, then consider taking this journey with me. Those who have are glad they did and experienced a change in perspective and improved relationships even after our first consultation.
I will work with you to gently but firmly guide you through exercises to challenge your thinking and help you define not only your fears but also your values in a way that permeates who you are.
I have experienced many ups and downs through the years and will share my experiences with you as we work together. It has not been Disney-like, but real, hard, downright frustrating and exhilarating, sometimes it seems, all at once. My life did not become perfect and neither will yours, but it will become better.